Search This Blog

Monday, September 17, 2012

This week’s assignment from the League: How to destroy the Death Star

The League of Extraordinary Bloggers
We all have our own skills and talents, and I thought that this week we could learn a thing or two from one another. This week’s League challenge…

Write a step-by-step guide on how to do something. This could be a real world project or a fantastical one, so do with it as you will.

  1. Open a Starbucks- everyone loves Starbucks. pretty soon all of the compartments and corridors around that Starbucks will be filled with restaurants and shops. I envision a Ross in there where you can buy discount and oddly fitting stormtrooper armor and imperial uniforms...
  2. This Starbucks is too crowded- if there is only one Starbucks, pretty soon it will be so crowded that no one wants to go there- solution: open 12 more Starbucks, and so on...until the Death Star has become the Death Mar , a series of Strip Malls with the power to destroy an entire economy- mainly it's own. Stormtroopers will be moonlighting to try to pay their credit card bills, and soon...
  3. Stores start closing- vast sections of the Death Mar will be deserted and unmaintained. Huge American Grafitti'd sections where not even Droids will willingly go will be taken over by Bothan hover-skateboarders and used as Skate parks. Once prosperous stores will close and move to Alderaan, leaving the space to go to low- rent thrift stores and Family Credit
  4. When the last Starbucks Closes, you will be able to drop a credit coin in the former north control room of the Death Mar, and anyone in the south command sector will be able to hear which side it landed on
  5. After Galactic Renewal, the Death Mar becomes all low rent housing for single unwed Gungan mothers. I particularly like the fountains they install around the main reactor shaft-very artistic
  6. And then someone gets the brilliant idea to open a Starbucks for the Gungan Mothers...

total time involved: approximately 6 standard galactic months, and not a single Proton Torpedo impacted on the surface. By the way, can I interest anyone in a used X-Wing? only piloted by a little old lady on her way to Jedi Temple.

I look forward to seeing what Green Plastic Squirt Gun, The Sexy Geek's House of Swag, Cool and Collected, and 3B's Toy Hive come up with, as well as everybody else!