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Saturday, August 16, 2014

Direct Falsehood

     I had a fascinating experience in Walmart last night, that still has me thinking about it


       First- to set the scene: in the Walmarts in my area, if you walk past the electronics department, they generally have not one, but two direct TV people there to confront you, and try to get you to sign up for their service. They generally start this confrontation with "can I ask you a question?"

     My policy has been, to now, to tell them either (a) that the answer to the question will not make them happy, or (b)to tell them that I know what the question is, and that my answer is that I do not have a TV provider, by choice

     My TV is provided by Hulu, or CBS.com, or whateverdamnsitetheshowiwantowatchison.com. this is the way I like it, and I don't feel an overpowering urge to change that. if I do feel such an urge...I will change it.

     Last night, I was in Walmart. I walked past electronics. The sudden yet inevitable confrontation took place. I issued canned response (b)(see above) and got a response back that surprised me.

"Next time just lie and tell us you have Direct TV."
     I was a little floored- more so because the person who told me this was offended that I suggested that having to adjust my behavior to tell this particular lie was morally questionable.
"Well if you don't want us bothering you, just lie and we will leave you alone"
     I don't know if they do this where you live. I don't know if you go to Walmart, or even if this bothers you like it bothers me. All I know is it bothers me. And I find it amusing that their solution is to lie your way out of it.
     So to this turn of circumstance, I am initiating plan (c), and adding it to my list of responses
Response (c): "I have been instructed by one of your representatives to lie to you and tell you I have Direct TV as my provider"

I will report back on how that one hits

I may also decide to immediately ask for the store manager to let him know I will be avoiding walking by his electronics department in the future. If I'm going to be a jerk, I may as well not keep that warm light hidden from all humanity


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