Friday funnies: Movies I Want To See Made (but probably won't be)

Bruce Willis and Whoopi Goldberg star in a crossover thriller about a woman in witness protection in a convent bodyguarded by a retired cop masquerading as a priest at Christmastime.

OLD HABITS

DIE HARD

Matt Damon stars as a former CIA operative turned Baptist Preacher.

BOURNE AGAIN

 An unnecessary sequel to The Color Purple Has the main character discovering that some of his ancestors were cannibals in 

THE COLOR PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS

And finally the big action thriller sequel to Harper Lees Classic: Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson star in

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD II:

TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE

Monday Media Musings: Failure, Sacrifice, and Redemption

     Before I get into the The Last Jedi, first, Be Ye Warned: Spoilers Be Ahead!

     Second, before I get serious, I will open with two terrible jokes:

1.      What is the internal temperature of a TaunTaun? Luke Warm
2.      How Many Sandpeople does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows- they change it in single file, to hide their numbers. 

     Neither of those are original to me, but I like them. Sort of the Darth-Vader Dark-Side of Dad jokes. The Snark Side of the Force. 

     So the movie. I liked it. It was long, Some have described it as moving at an AT-AT like pace, but it did what it needed to do, to continue the themes established so long ago, in 1977. 

• That a spark of hope is sometimes all the light has, or needs. 
• That you can never unmake a mistake, but you can do better when you next face a choice. 
• That the future you are fighting for is bigger than any one person, and if you need to sacrifice yourself to save it, walk in with style. 

     We know that Luke Skywalker have been gone for years in The Force Awakens. He's Studying the original Jedi temple, we have heard, looking for a way to defeat the first order. He's waiting for us to bring him back and bring hope and the Jedi with him. 

     Luke Skywalker made a terrible mistake. His mistake had huge consequences. He has found the original Jedi temple, but he he has blocked himself from the force, and is waiting to die. He is waiting to take the last vestige of the Jedi order with him. He has concluded that the Jedi failed. 

     Pause here to address this betrayal of Luke's character. 

     Luke is broken. He is broken by the mistake he made with Ben Solo, unleashing Kylo Ren. He is broken by years spent in isolation from both the Force and from those he loves. What he has now from his time away, is a better understanding of the force, and perhaps how the Jedi erred in their relationship with it. 

     When Rey comes to Ahch-to, She revives something in Luke, that has not been there for a long time. Not hope, but curiosity. That Nobody, from Nowhere, is so strong with the force is a mystery that intrigues him. That is not enough to dislodge him from his island exile, but like a pebble down a mountainside, it starts a few things rolling. 

Rey: You didn't fail Kylo. Kylo failed you. I won't.

     When she leaves to attempt to redeem Kylo Ren, Luke prepares to destroy the knowledge of the Jedi, and most likely himself as well.

     Which is when Yoda takes him back to school. One with the force, he has "become more powerful than you can possible imagine" and he destroys the home of the Jedi teachings with a storm of lightning. And he drops this bit of wisdom on Luke- Failure is a great teacher. 

     Luke "returns" to save the resistance, giving his own life in the process.In  A New Hope, Obi Wan gave his life to secure Luke and Leia's escape. In Return of the Jedi, Luke surrenders to Vader in order to redeem him. In Rogue One, the entire strike team gave their lives to deliver the information that would make the Empire's ultimate weapon vulnerable. The Force Awakens showed us that the light side was bigger than Han, and The Last Jedi shows that it is bigger even than the New Hope himself, as he becomes one with the force while gazing into the setting suns. Episode 9 will somehow write out the late Carrie Fisher, and the Original heroes will be only a memory of hope to the galaxy they fell to liberate.

Kylo Ren: Did you come back to say you forgive me? To save my soul?

Luke Skywalker: No.

[they draw their lightsabers and fight]

Luke Skywalker: I failed you, Ben. I'm sorry.

Kylo Ren: I'm sure you are! The Resistance is dead, the war is over, and when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi!

Luke Skywalker: Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.

Monday Media Musings: Style and Substance

     I saw three films last week for the first time. All three films had a lot of style. To me only two of the films had substance to go along with it.

     Last Sunday, Sam and I caught Thor: Ragnarok

     It was a fun ride, kind of eccentric and quirky, and excellent in it's characterization. Surprisingly the character who stole the show for me was Korg, who was a good-natured stonegladiator who befriends Thor on Sakaar. It was interesting to see Thor being in his own way as manipulative and duplicitous as Loki. It was also really nice to see Hulk have more lines than "Smash". All in all, an excellent film.


     The second film was Baby Driver, a film not even on my radar until Sam rented it.

     A highly entertaining crime thriller about Baby,(real name Miles) a getaway driver who uses his MP3 player to block out his Tinnitus. Excellent performances all around. Kevin Spacey, whose delivery is almost poetic, is the boss who recruits crews to pull heists, and baby is his getaway driver every time. The films use of action choreographed with the soundtrack in Baby's ears gives it an added touch of Charm.

     And then there was the film I really wanted to like...

     You ever see a trailer and know that you have seen the best parts of the film? Have you ever seen a trailer and not realized you have seen the best parts of the film? This was example 2...
     What I liked:

• the action scenes; there was no problem with those at all. 
• Every time Idris Elba was on screen. The man has a stage presence that is awesome. 
• Matthew McConaughey was fun to watch as the man in black, even if I was still picturing him in  Dallas Buyers Club

     What I didn't:

• A muddled story that relies more on action sequences than character to drive it.
• A mix of western, fantasy and sci-fi that doesn't really make sense. There was so much material here, as there is in most King novels that they could have built a more convincing mythology. 

To paraphrase the movie...

I do not Make a film with my marketing crew.  He who Makes a film with his marketing crew has forgotten the face of his father. I direct with my heart.

Monday Media Musings: Geomovie

     Sam and I caught Geostorm yesterday, and it was surprisingly enjoyable.

No, not this Geo Storm.

This Geostorm

     This was a very calculated movie. I say calculated in the sense that you could see where they planned to hit all the appropriate feels. And I don't mean that as a negative. they hit those feels. Even down to the boy reuniting with his dog after the tornadoes. Because who doesn't love a dog(except me...I am kind of indifferent if there's no feathers.)? The movie has clear opinions- it clearly believes in human caused environmental change. It takes a poke or two at the current political leadership

     The title comes from the theory that if there are a certain number of extreme weather events, it will cascade into a "Geostorm" and it will cover and destroy the world. While this may or may not be true, what was certainly proven is that if you put enough pieces of other movies into one film, it will cascade and become pieces of all other films you never intended- I saw bits of Armageddon, Gravity, Iron Man 2... and a lot of the music sounds like transformers 2. Just to name a few.

     What I learned from watching this film...(with possible spoilers...WATCH OUT!)

• If you are led to believe that the democratic sitting president is the bad guy, bet that the conservative secretary of state is actually the villain. 
• The pretty blonde secret service agent is badass.
• Satellites can be piloted from within. they make great escape pods.
• The modern space suit is highly durable and will not tear or rupture even as it's wearer smashes across what appears to be 30 miles of random space station parts and barely catches himself on the last pipe on the very edge before flying off into infinite space. 
• We now know what "hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement" actually looks like. 
• The international space station is surprisingly roomy inside. they make weather satellites there.
• while extreme weather can kill cats and seagulls, the dog survives because that's what we want to see. 
• As much as we might want him to, Gerard Butler Can't say "Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!!!" in every movie. 
• At the end of the day, when the hero and heroine are in danger, count on a Mexican to save them. Seriously. 

     Would I recommend it? it was a good watch, and worth bargain-priced entry. My Roommate is a connoisseur of disaster flicks and her criteria for this one was that she enjoyed it for that price and she would buy the DVD when it hits Walmart's $5 bin. 

     All I know for sure is that I can picture a room full of hollywood typed and probably losts of quinoa salad and someone saying..."well, what if we put in a scene with a dog? that'll hook'em"

Monday Media Musings: Heroic Origins

     Every good hero has a good origin story- Swearing vengeance for the deaths of your parents, or taking responsibility for the life you failed. Hurled from your dying world as it's last son, or given a power ring and made into a green space cop.

     What I am contemplating today is the story behind the story. When Siegel and Schuster created the Superman, they were inspired by other fantastic heroes of the day (I found a nice Bio on them, here). Martin Nodell created the Golden Age Green Lantern from an image of a trainman waving a lantern on dark track, plus elements of Wagner's Ring cycle.

     Yesterday I saw Professor Marston and the Wonder Women



     It was a good film, well acted, and respectfully handled. The subtle nods to things that inspired different aspects of the character were just that- not thrown into your face, just placed there for those in the know to catch. The Movie is R, for language and sexual content, so this is not one for your kids. William Moulton Marston  had a very unconventional relationship with two different women, both of whom he loved deeply, and who loved each other in turn. Their relationship was incredibly brave by modern standards, and damn near foolhardy brave by the standards of the times (the twenties, thirties and forties).

     Marstons granddaughter has come out saying the story is made up, and doesn't reflect the family accurately. She said the family was not consulted.

     The truth?  Who really knows? No one now was there to tell the tale. I liked the movie, and it seemed to have some truth to it. Go see it, form your own opinions. It's a good story, and a good story can make a pretty enjoyable couple of hours in a theater.

     So I leave this post with a quote from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance

Ransom Stoddard: You're not going to use the story, Mr. Scott?
Maxwell Scott: No, sir. This is the West, sir. When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.

Monday Media Musings: A Sparrow's Flight

     Today(And the release of POTC5) has me contemplating the curious journeys of Captain Jack Sparrow. I'm going to Omit anything here that is not POTC Movie Cannon(intentional). I am also far less concerned with his sea voyages than I am with his journey as a character.

     When we meet him in The Curse of the Black Pearl, he is a genius of improvisational tactics, able to lie like Loki himself, and is seeking the ship that was stolen from him. He has a cutlass, a pistol with one shot, a compass that points to what he most desires, and a list of enemies dead and alive that is staggering. He loves the Sea, The Black Pearl, and Rum. In pretty much that order.

     Bold, Fearless, Obnoxious. He is a classic trickster, carrying the seeds of his success in one hand and the seeds of his own downfall in the other, and juggling...

     When we meet up with him again in Dead Man's Chest, he is being , pursued by the supernatural Entity Davy Jones,

Not him.

Him.

and considerably more fearful. Jones intends to take Jack's life or the Black Pearl, as part of a bargain they made. Sparrow runs from his fate as long as he can, but when he can run no more, he faces his end with style and boldness, running straight into the teeth of the Kraken.

     When we find him in the Locker in At World's End, he seems to have gone somewhat mad, and fragmented into personalities to keep himself occupied-not necessarily multiple personalities, more like highly focused versions of himself. When extracted from the Locker and returned from the land of the dead, he is wrapped in his endgame with Jones and Cutler Beckett, but also wrangling for position with Hector Barbossa. At the end, he is free of that bargain, and while he loses the Pearl and his crew, he has a map in his possession of wonders galore that he can exploit.

     On Stranger Tides finds him athwart the most feared Pirate of them all, Edward Teach, AKA Blackbeard, seeking the fountain of youth. Not a captain now, but a conscripted sailor on Blackbeard's Queen Anne's Revenge. From this spot, he attempts mutiny, and is left alive only because Blackbeard and his daughter need the knowledge Jack has.

     Dead Men Tell No Tales is a curious turn. We Find Jack Sparrow, drunken, broken, still brilliant, but even more self- sabotaging. I think it's here that we truly start to see the shape of this character. There are two personae, the public and the private. And the public Persona has all the good stuff. Jack is a bit like me. I have been described as being always on stage(and not always as a compliment). And when he starts to Dazzle with Dexterity and Baffle with Bullshit, even his most bloodthirsty foes, whom he has delivered the gravest insults to, wind up watching in fascination. Alone, he creates an audience to perform for- he entertains himself, as it were. On stage, if he feels he is losing the confidence of his audience, he will resort to even more extreme behavior until he has their attention back. And I think it comes down to one seminal event, told in flashback in Dead Men Tell No Tales

     When he saves his ship and defeats Salazar, he is given tribute from the crew. It is in this event that Jack the Sparrow is truly born, and set on a path to remain a captain, on stage for his crew to observe his brilliance. When their confidence slips, so does his mask, and we see the lonely child behind the legend...

     This might be why the Rum is always gone.

Monday Media Musings: To Boldly Go...

     I'm more a Star Wars guy than a Trekker. I was too young to see Star Trek TOS in the first blush of it's prime time debut, and too old to get too drawn into TNG and DS9 and Voyager- I watched some of them, watched all of  TOS in syndication. I do recall the Star Trek Saturday morning Cartoon that just pretty much rehashed the plot of a number of TOS episodes...as did some of TNG.

     I saw up through STIV(the Voyage Home) but didn't really stay dedicated to that movie franchise like I have to some others. I recognize the importance of Star Trek as a cultural phenomenon and a societal mirror, and I recognize it's value.

     Right about now, you are thinking "what a freaking downer post. He came not to praise the Trek, but to bury it." Guess what? I Didn't bring a shovel.

     The Star Trek reboot that sprang fully formed from the mind of J.J. Abrams is brilliant, and I loved the first two films. They do seem to lose about a full Enterprise each movie, and Beyond seemed muddled, although a second viewing might clear some of that. I love the cast, I love the pacing, I love the TOS tropes that get flipped or turned sideways. The fantastic re-imagining by way of an altered timeline, some edgier relationships and some Firefly-style shoot-em-up is my cup of tea. It takes itself seriously but not too seriously.

     But I'm not here for that either. I'm here for the other thing Star Trek inspired. The Spoofs...

     I was old enough that I got to see Quark in primetime.

not this:(although I did see him in primetime)

this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quark_(TV_series)

     It was not a brilliant parody, but it was entertaining. They hit out at various Sci-fi tropes in their 8 episode run. You can find them on DVD now, if you are interested.

    Then in 1999, we got this piece of brilliance:

Galaxy Quest

     The Premise actually called me back to a Story in an old Star Trek Anthology, Visit to a Weird Planet Revisited by Ruth Berman. In the story, Shatner, Nimoy and Kelley find themselves on the real, actual, according-to-Hoyle U.S.S. Enterprise and have to face down a Klingon commander. The stories in these anthologies, along with the novels that followed the series were some of the first pre-internet fan-fiction.

     In Galaxy-Quest, of course, the semi-retired and typecast actors from the Galaxy-Quest T.V. series are making their living doing conventions and charging for autographs.  At one of these conventions, they meet representatives from an alien culture who have based their way of life on the show, and need the help of the original crew to save their civilization. If you haven't seen this...I'm not sure what to say except SEE IT IMMEDIATELY. By the Sons of Warvan, Tim Allen may do a better Shatner than Shatner. This is also a movie that makes me miss Alan Rickman all the more.

     Which brings me to now.

The Orville

     Seth MacFarlane is an interesting character. I Haven't decided yet if this is a spoof, or a serious insipred-by, or what it wants to be when it fully spreads it's wings. I think in a lot of ways the show doesn't even have the answers to these questions. First episode was ...meh, entertaining enough. Second episode was better, funnier, but the third episode took a bite of some meat. And seriously chewed. I'm not going to spoil anything here, but I personally think that the show deserves a chance to find out what it can be, and I have a new respect for MacFarlane based upon the note he ended episode three on. It took guts to not go for the happy ending and I think it was the right choice.

Monday Media Musings: When It Stops Being Funny

     Today Marks the 16th anniversary of 9/11 in the United States. all I could think when I realized it was "That crept up on me." It's odd how things fade with time, good and bad. I still get excited for Christmas, and my birthday. Most else, I just...mark.



     So I saw IT yesterday, and I was entertained. I was more than once tense and on the edge of my seat. I wasn't terrified or even scared at any point. I don't get scared very often, but I did remark to Sam that IT was a monster being a monster, and Detroit was more suspenseful because it was people becoming monsters and the world thrown askew.


     That being said, Bill Skarsgard's performance was incredible. The other standouts for me were Steven Bogaert as Beverly's father, and Nicholas Hamilton as Henry Bowers, the Bully.

     Did it scare me? No. Did it hold my interest for the allotted time? Yep. Worth the price of a ticket? Yep. Could IT have been driven off by a couple of teenagers with wands and the incantation "Riddikulus"? Probably.

     A fair and probably inevitable comparison can be drawn with Heath Ledger's Joker from The Dark Knight. Bill Skarsgard made such a comparison himself. In theory, both are clowns, what should be symbols of joy, innocence and laughter, but the only laughter we find in either one has an "S" in front of it.


     The Joker that Ledger portrayed is a brilliant, calculating, manipulative character, capable of creating a meticulous plan and equally capable of steering the pieces his plan depends on into place without appearing to do so. A master of misdirection and a chessmaster rolled into one. Add to that his ability to improvise and he is an incredibly formidable adversary. What makes him most dangerous in my eyes is that he embraces the monster within, and tries to make others embrace the monster within themselves. Where he fails to do that is when he loses.

     In Men At Arms, Terry Pratchett writes:

“No clowns were funny. That was the whole purpose of a clown. People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable.”

     I watched another film that could have been taken funny and was not. 

     Now maybe you  have seen this film. maybe you have not. Maybe you have seen it and forgotten that you did, or maybe it just seems like a dream within a ...crap, that's Inception. 

     There are a lot of scenes in the film that are incredibly slapstick, mostly around Leonard's memory Problem. More, Guy Pearce plays them funny, as he glides through the movie with a Clint Eastwood-esque delivery. Where they are unfunny is that we don't want to laugh at the protagonist's serious disability.

     And then we reach the end, or the beginning. We find that the protagonist we have been following through his trials has done all of this before. That he has found his wife's attacker, a total of nine times and killed that person each time. We find that his friend, "Teddy" who has been helping him, has helped orchestrate these nine revenge killings. And we find that Leonard chooses to selectively edit his notes, and therefore his memory, to suit his desires. 

     In short, Leonard, poor forgetful Leonard, chooses to become a monster. I guess we all need a purpose, and Leonard's chosen purpose is to hunt and kill John G over and over until he is stopped. It's a nice twist and a nice Sucker-punch that leaves you looking back at the movie and re-watching it with very different eyes. 

     Or forgetting it, a few minutes later. 

     

Monday Media Musings: Alien Ambassadors

     Those of you know me(even casually, or just through this blog) know that I tend to go through themes in my movie watching; Grabbing one movie off the shelf tends to connect me to other movies I haven't even thought of in a while. This week I found myself hosting prot, a lone alien Emissary from the planet K-Pax



     Prot(Pronounced like "float") arrives via a beam of light in New York's Grand Central Station is arrested for odd behavior after he offers aid to a mugging victim. He is evaluated, unsuccessfully medicated, and finally treated by Dr. Mark Powell as delusional. during his stay in the hospital, he helps many of the patients heal themselves, always insisting he is going to leave on a specific date. Powell is convinced that the date marks a trauma and that prot will become violent or self destructive when he doesn't go back to K-Pax. He goes to great lengths to heal what he sees as a man in pain. Not going to spoil the ending, but the atmosphere of the movie, the lone piano playing wistful music and the use of light beams and lens flares is incredibly appropriate for setting the mood.

     Prot led me to a much earlier emissary, invited here by the message included in our Voyager 2 space probe. He is the unnamed protagonist of Starman



     He arrives to fighter planes and a missile, shooting down his craft in northern Wisconsin, clones himself some human camouflage in the form of Jenny Hayden's dead husband and has her take him down to Arizona to rendezvous with his ride home. Along the way they fall in love, while hounded by furies from the U.S. government. His tools that help him along the way are seven "Miracle Spheres" that allow him to do pretty much anything.

       In terms of miraculous abilities, you have to love Paul, of the film of the same name



    Where most aliens are on a different level than us, exuding a moral superiority borne of their higher level of evolution... Paul is "earthy". He's rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. He seems to have three tricks, Camouflage(as long as he can hold his breath) healing, where he briefly takes on the injury of another, and the ability to convey the knowledge of his people at a touch. He takes a road trip with Graeme, Clive and Ruth to rendezvous with his ride home at devils tower in Wyoming, pursued by U.S. Government agents and others. He also claims to have consulted on a large number of Sci-Fi movies, while locked up in a research facility.

     And when you talk about aliens with earthy desires, it doesn't get much earthier than the trio from Earth Girls Are Easy



     Mac, Zeebo and Wiploc Aren't here for science...they are here to get laid. Maybe an oversimplification, but this 1980's musical romp, inspired by Julie Brown's song is fun, colorful and has Geena Davis at some of her comedy best. Valerie is wholesome, adorable, a little clumsy, and in a bad relationship when the three hapless explorers accidentally crash into her pool and her life. Their special alien ability? A "love touch" that brings ecstasy. Here is a video someone did of the original song.

     I touched upon this theme briefly here. These movies show a common theme, highlighting Man's(the species) greed, avarice and paranoia, but also Man's capacity to learn, to care for beings not of his own kind...our curiosity and our empathy. A sort of a warning mixed with hope. It seems we imagine one of two scenarios- the Aliens come in force, and are the aggressors, or one alien comes here and we are the antagonists.

     As to how we would actually treat an alien emissary? Would he (or she)walk among us like a god, As does Kal El of Krypton or Thor of Asgard, or would they hide among us in fear of what we might (and probsbly would) do? I would like to think I would welcome a peaceful emissary, but  who is to say I haven't already met one and never knew?

Monday Media Musings:Pride in Heritage

     So yesterday Sam and I took in "the Hitman's Bodyguard" and without spoiling, a few points:

• It's a more thoughtful and nuanced take on morality and how decisions of the past cast shadows on the future than most action comedies and more than a lot of dramas as well. 
• Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson have amazing screen chemistry. Sam with Samuel L. Jackson and Salma Hayek.
• Considering that Ryan Reynolds is usually the smart-ass, watching him play straight man to Samuel L. Jackson was amazing. 

     Now on to my Main subject. 

     Among the movies in my collection, is the dubiously received "So I Married an Axe Murderer" This movie has it's ups and downs, but two things struck me upon my recent re-watching. 

     First, every person in that film seems like they had a really good time making it. Every character in the movie has some little odd quirk or personal touch from the too-nice police captain of Alan Arkin to the Pilot played by Steven Wright with only a tenuous grasp on reality, to Charles Grodin's Sullen and taciturn owner of the car that Tony the detective tries to commandeer.

     Second, it reminded me of another, far more successful movie based upon one character:

     I would like to see Stuart McKenzie from "So I Married an Axe Murderer" in a conversation with Kostas "Gus" Portokalos from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". Someone should make that movie. Here you have two men with a fierce and (considering recent events here in the U.S.A.) healthy pride in their heritage to the point where it's become almost the single focusing aspect of their personality. Add to that their love of their families and you have almost the same man from two different cultures. 

     Just a Haggis for thought...

Monday Media Musings: The Strange West

     My thoughts are not primarily on a movie today, but on the book signing I went to Friday night, and the book I bought there. It's called "Straight Outta Tombstone", an anthology put together by David Boop. I am ten stories in and it's a hell of a good read. a goodly number of the authors were there and I actually did them a disservice by singlemindedly seeking it for Jim Butcher's part in the proceedings.


     David Boop was there, Sam Knight, Kevin J. Anderson, David Lee Summers, Sarah Hoyt Naomi Brett Rourke, Peter J Wacks, Bryan Thomas Schmidt, and of course, Jim Butcher.

     I got my picture taken with him:

And my copy of the Aeronaut's Windlass signed

     Now when I think of weird western stories and movies, three come to mind from the fairly substantial collection I have. These are (By order of release date) as follows.

     High Plains Drifter: I always took this one as a kind of a western ghost story- The nameless stranger come back as a revenant to avenge his own death and rest easy- and when it comes to vengeance, his kind is not particular...



     I've always held that he vanishes once he rides out of town.

     Pale Rider: For me, this is the other side of High Plains Drifters tale of vengeance and betrayal- if the stranger in HPD came back from hell, the Preacher in pale Rider seems to have come from heaven. he seems almost supernaturally aware of what is happening, and shows evidence of being either incredibly badly wounded, or perhaps murdered in a ring of bullet scars on his back

You can even picture both as the same character, at different times in his unquiet afterlife and with different prerogatives

     But you can't talk weird west without talking about Cowboys and Aliens...or at least I can't. Daniel Craig  as an outlaw with a past and no memory of it, with a mysterious weapon locked onto his arm. A posse hunting monsters who took the townsfolk, and spacefaring prospectors here to rid the earth of it's pesky gold, as well as torture us, kill us and eventually devour us. This one calls up all the tropes for a western, as well as a sci-fi movie.



I watch this one at least once a year.

     Now as I consider it, I want to throw one more in here- the most recent Lone Ranger movie. Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp as a very mismatched Lone Ranger and Tonto, fighting against the earth out of balance and WENDIGO. This is one of those movies in the category of "Mr Smith loved this one but the critics hated it." There are a lot of those...

 

Tonto is the narrator of this tale, and he may be an unreliable and slightly demented one as he tells the story, from a very aged Tonto to a young boy who shows up in a mask to the carnival where he is.

Monday Movie Musings: Fantastic Muggle

     Not every movie that you see will make you feel good, not every movie you see will make you comfortable. Sam and I saw Detroit yesterday. It's a movie based on an event from american history, The Algiers Motel incident during the 1967 Detroit riots. How true the film is is still open to debate, but I will say this...



     You know that feeling you get watching a horror film, when all the normal rules of life are suspended and the most innocuous of actions is enough to get the character killed in the most horrific fashion possible? Watching Detroit felt like that. Like at any moment, the hockey-masked machete wielding killer was going to reveal himself...but there were no hockey masks, no machetes...just fear, and guns, and makeshift weapons, and itchy trigger fingers.

     This seems like a pretty decent starting point as to the truth vs supposition or opinion in the incident- I am speaking of it only from the standpoint of viewing the film, and the film left me disquieted. There is a reason why I value all films but tend to choose lighter fare.


     In cheerier news, I re-viewed Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them



     When I first saw this in theater, and on DVD, I knew it meant more to me than any of the eight Harry Potter movies, but I really couldn't put my finger on why. I settled on..."It's it's own work, not based on a book, so this is the complete story. no scenes missing"

     I think that's important, but not the whole of things. In Harry Potter, we are given a character who is somewhat relatable (Harry) but not so much, and not for long. Harry goes from horrific abuse to fame and glory in the space of his eleventh birthday. He is the chosen one, the boy who lived, the child of prophecy. He is given his place in the wizard world and it's wonders quickly become routine.

     Fantastic Beasts gives us a window into a segregated world, wizard folk divided from no-maj. We are given a window in the form of Jacob Kowalski. Jacob is a totally relatable character-exposed by an accident involving a chance encounter and a switched suitcase to a hidden world denied him, full of danger, but full of wonder. He never for a moment loses that wonder. He proves brave, resourceful, and adaptable. His final moment of sacrifice, when he steps into the rain to lose his memory and protect the wizarding world from exposure is heart-breaking, and I weep with the loss each viewing.

     I never really wanted to be Harry Potter, but I'd be Jacob Kowalski, just like that.

Jacob Kowalski: [about to lose his memory] Hey. This is for the best. Yeah. I-I was... I was never even supposed to be here. I was never supposed to know... a-any of this. Everybody knows Newt only kept me around because... Hey, Newt, why did you keep me around?
Newt Scamander: Because I like you. Because you're my friend. And I'll never forget how you helped me, Jacob.

Monday Movie Musings: There and Back Again

     I found myself immersed in the Hobbit this week when other things were not in ascendance. There are a lot of things to appreciate about those three films. There is a lot of humor in the subtle stuff and the overt stuff that the dwarves are involved in. The scene with the trolls, where Bilbo is stalling for time by spinning a yard about the dwarves being full of parasites, while the dwarves, full of pride and stubbornness are yelling back "We don't have parasites! YOU HAVE PARASITES!" ...It's Thorin's sigh and eyeroll that gets me. it's the look of a man who says I love these people, they are my family, but sometimes...

     The appearance in the third fil of Dain Ironfoot, played by Billy Connolly was especially nice- I love Billy Connolly in anything he does- see my post about Fido, here

his initial speech had me rolling:

Dain: Good morning. How are we all? I have a wee proposition, if you don't mind giving me a few moments of your time. Would you consider... JUST SODDING OFF! All ye, right now! 

Bard: Stand fast! 

Gandalf: Come now, Lord Dain. 

Dain: Gandalf the Grey. Tell this rabble to leave or I'll water the ground with their blood. 

Gandalf: There is no need for war between Dwarves, Men, and Elves. A legion of Orcs march on the mountain. Stand your army down. 

Dain: I will not stand down before any elf! Not least this faithless Woodland sprite! He wishes nothing but ill upon my people! If he chooses to stand between me and my kin, I'll split his pretty head open! See if he's still smirking then! 

Thranduil: He's clearly mad like his cousin. 

Dain: Ya hear that, lads? We're on! Let's give these bastards a good hammering! 

     Plus, add to that the varied and innovative elements of the dwarven war machine, and you have what should be a victory for the elves looking suddenly far less certain. The arrow catchers were incredible. And when the orcs arrive and the elves and dwarves join forces against the common foe...if you can ever say battle is beautiful, this battle is just that. 

     I know there are a lot of complaints from Tolkien purists that a lot got added that was not in the book...and they are right. But in my opinion, none of it is too out of place- all of the casting is superb, and not much I would change- Tolkien's books are a bit dry for my taste, and don't lend themselves to my casual reading. The movies are a bit more my speed

     I say this- if you go to watch the three movies that comprise the Hobbit and the three of the Lord of the Rings...invest the time to watch the wealth of cinematic gold that is the extended editions. I think you will be happy you did. Also...I challenge you to watch them in real time. that way once you watch the Hobbit trilogy, you only have to wait 60 years until you can pop in Fellowship...

Monday Movie Musings: Who Watches the Watchmen

     Yesterday Sam and I took in Atomic Blonde, Starring Charlize Theron and James McAvoy. It's an excellent spy-trhiller that kept me guessing until the end, and finding out at the end I guessed wrong. Not going to spoil anything, it would literally be like telling you Vader is Luke's Father, or revealing the disguise of Verbal Kint. You need to go into this one unspoiled, unsullied and innocent.


     Apart from the well crafted plot, there are two things that stand out. Maybe three.

• The trailer makes the protagonist look super-dangerous, but also superhuman. She is definitely not. The fight sequences are bloody, exhausting, and brutal. they appear to take a physical toll not only on the characters, but the actors and audience as well. what you have is human beings, desperately trying to survive and win, and the extreme lengths they will go to. The main character, Lorraine does have an excellent spur-of-the-moment planning ability, and it's why she usually comes out on top. 
• The soundtrack- memories from the Heyday of MTV, like Der Kommisar, 99 LuftBallons, often in highly ironic spots  in the movie put this one up there with Guardians of the Galaxy V1 and 2, as well as my next subject here, following this bludgeon of a transition. 

     Not my first watch, not my last. Amazing soundtrack, with evocative mood-setters by Simon and Garfunkel, Jimi Hendrix, Bob, Dylan and many more. I think that this is probably the best movie you could make out of the classic graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. It didn't get Alan Moore's blessing, but what ever has? He refused to even see it. This film is Zach Snyder at his very best, his most faithful to the panels of the comic and the characters who live within them. 

     I once thought of Adrian Veidt as Lex Luthor as a superhero, and there is that element, but when I watched it this time I was looking for Justice League analogs, and I found them...and unfortunately, they were all Batman...

     Yep. Three characters, three different interpretations of Batman. 

     Nite Owl (Daniel Dreiberg): Also compared to Ted Kord(AKA the Blue Beetle) He reminded me of the idealistic 1960's Batman- the Adam West Batman- thrust into a violent and terrible world and dealing with it with his gadgets, and his belief in the right course.

    Ozymandias (Adrian Veidt): The cold, chessmaster Batman who is always moves ahead of everyone else, and who plans(for instance) for the day his friends will go bad by figuring out how to kill or incapacitate them. For him the end always justifies the means. 

    Rorschach(Walter Kovacs): is the grim, uncompromising Frank Miller-esque Batman, with a running Internal Monologue providing a soundtrack to his mental state, which can either be utterly insane or frighteningly sane depending on which angle you view him from. He is the Batman for whom Bruce Wayne is the mask, and the Dark Knight is the true face. I happen to think he is the most interesting and complex character in the movie. 

     As always, the film's ending leaves me wanting, yet dreading more, with Rorchach's war journal about to be published with all his observations and secrets. If you haven't seen this one, watch the director's cut. If you have, but it's been a while, give it another watch. 

     One final thing. Zach Snyder KNOWS what superheroes should look like when they fight. The greatest triumph of Batman V. Superman is someone finally captured Batman really fighting and why he is able to hold his own among the strongest that world has to offer. 

Toysday: Archers Icons

     I learned that I had a taste for the art of archery early on, before the age of 10: My brother had a small recurve bow (in Creamsicle orange fiberglass color) and some arrows and he taught me how to shoot in the back yard. I continued on through High school with a recurve bought at a thrift store with a crack through the riser that no sane archer would shoot with. My first Bow bought as an adult was an old Ben Pearson 45# target bow with brown fiberglass. What I shoot now is a Green Mountain Longbow at 65# draw that I have had for 25 years or so. I Alternate that with an Appalachian archery recurve at 64# draw that is just beautiful. I have a compound bow, but to be honest, it's no fun to me. Not my style of archery.

The old Pearson recurve- she may be older than I am, but still shoots great

My Appalachian recurve. Black locust limbs...

Cocobolo riser. such a beautiful bow

My longbow. Maple riser...

Elm limbs

     What's it got to do with toys??? Well, I have always loved the toys I could find of my icons, and of those things that are a part of me.

     Oliver Queen...Clint Barton...Legolas, Prince of the woodland realm...Robin of Sherwood...Katniss Everdeen...All of them using archery as their primary skill-all of them inspiring some fan to pick up a bow. Real world icons like Fred Bear...Howard Hill...even Ted Nugent, though he has managed to fall far for me with his politics.

     I Love toys with bows. To me Archery has always been more of a draw to me than guns. I know each has it's own high level of skill involved. But to me, the bow has always been the thing...

My name is Oliver Queen. After five years in hell, I returned home with only one goal: to save my city. But my old approach wasn't enough. I had to become someone else. I had to become something else. I had to become the Green Arrow.

Hey, look at me. It's your fault, it's everyone's fault, who cares. Are you up for this? Are you? Look, I just need to know cause the city is flying. Ok, look, the city is flying, we're fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense. But I'm going back out there cause it's my job. Ok, and I can't do my job and babysit. Doesn't matter what you did, or what you were. If you go out there, you fight and you fight to kill. Stay in here, you're good. I'll send your brother to come find you. But if you step out that door, you are an Avenger. All right, good chat. 

Mastermind Creations Elita-1 with a short Energon bow

Rodimus got his Energon bow in his brief stint in the Animated show-
 this is Masterminds version of him,
and I LOVE THIS TOY

Medicom Toys Miracle action figure Reideen. Bought him years ago at a comic shop that is now no more...

     Oh... Side note- if I ever see anyone make a huge technical mistake with a bow in a movie, or in an illustration, it fouls it up for me... big time. So if you are going to shoot it, shoot it right!