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Sunday, July 26, 2015


     I am fascinated by a lot of things. Movies, good television, bad television, good books, well crafted toys and collectables. Good Myths. My birds, Sam's birds, geese, birds in general. I write these chronicles so that I may share these things.

     That was the easy part of the post. Hang on, it gets bumpy. Those of you who are less interested might want unfasten your seat-belts and disembark out the window when we slow for the turn. We are going straight for the edge of the map. There be monsters ahead.
this is a female egret- you know what that means

     For those still on board, congrats on your courage and your curiosity. Those two qualities started every worthwhile endeavor, ever. I want folks like you in my world. The significance of that is that I also am starting to accept what people I can do without.

     I have walked this earth a few years, and driven it more years, and during that time, I have tried for the attention of a number of people who fascinated me, some blood relatives, some not. I tell my stories. I tell my jokes. I tell other people's jokes and stories.

     Unfortunately, often as not, I get a semi-polite period of feigned interest, while they search for a distraction. This has the effect of making me try harder. See diagram(below)

Tell story
(      )
Get ignored

     Here's the bumpy part

}}}===>I AM WORTH MORE.<==={{{

     I am worth your time, your attention, your focus. 

     Or you are not worth mine.

      The coming time marks me trying to break the cycle described and illustrated above. I need to start seeing the clay footprints left by those whose time I crave, and to accept the fact that those footprints are going to be hell to get out of the carpet. I need to focus on positive relationships rather than trying to bargain with and accommodate the assassins of my self-esteem. 

     There will come a time, not today, probably not next week, but someday, when all that is left of me are these blog posts, and whatever stories you have of me. My focus is to make memories with those who wish to remember me.

     If you are asking yourself... does this apply to me...?

     The answer is that it does, but the way it applies is up to you.

This is what Mr Smith wants, this is what I want. I am Mr Smith.

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