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Friday, March 10, 2017

Sharing the Madness

     I have a wild mind that sees humor in odd situations. And I love when I can pull someone into my antics and let them play along too.

     Some examples of this are tonight, at jack in the box, when I noticed the drinks machine had a soft drink called "jumpin' jack splash" which was unavailable. I asked the clerk at the counter if it was unavailable because it was not a liquid, but was in fact a gas,gas,gas.... Sadly, he did not immediately get that. He got ribbed for it, too by someone else back in the kitchen. Before you ask, I am unclear on whether the drink is made in a crossfire hurricane.

     Some other recent examples...

     At del taco (regarding their hand sliced tomatoes) I asked if using a knife might be more effective, and the lady behind the counter quickly bounced back with "no, a lot of our people know karate" I also asked them if the beer battered fish meant it had been hit with a bottle of Coors while being caught.

     At our local sprouts grocery store, I tend to terrorize the produce people, particularly over strangely named apple types. I found (because I asked specifically) that pinata apples are not harvested by blindfolded children with sticks. The envy apples when I was offered a sample, I told them I would rather just quietly resent the fact that they had them and I didn't.

     At PetSmart I was looking at the Betta fish and was asked if I wanted one. I told them I couldn't have one due to my blood pressure, because I was on Betta blockers. And I could see the wheels turning...

     At Walmart I managed to engage the pet clerk in what I am calling the great algae eater recruitment of 2017. I have a 10 gallon tank with a few fish in it and we recently started to see a lot of algae. So I was looking at algae eaters. I told the girl that I wanted them from this tank, not that one "because those look like slackers" she proceeded to catch me two, and on her own decided that one of them didn't look eager enough, so he got put back in favor of a livelier one. Whatever she saw...The two I brought home had every speck of algae cleaned within four days. She can hire my algae eaters anytime.

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