Search This Blog

Monday, November 28, 2016

Warriors of the Air

     Good Morning- I don't often do this, but I thought I would guest post on Daddy's Blog. You see, despite all my efforts to rearrange his keyboard into something usable, it remains the same flat, lifeless oblong it has always been.

     My name, for studious readers of the blog, is  High Councilor T'ahngolario Verdantwing of the Green Cheeked Clan, but for brevity's may refer to me as Tango.

     The subject that has brought me here, is one of great importance and I will address it with the gravity it deserves. A question was asked recently on the social platform Daddy uses, "facebeak" about Birds, and stretching.

     The truth of the matter is that most birds are supremely skilled in martial arts. And most of us begin with a stretching discipline known as Flai Chi, or Supreme Ultimate Flapping. It is a philosophy of balance and centeredness. it keeps us sharp, limber and viewing the world as the 5 dimensional landscape it is, rather than the flat map that the bipeds walk on.

     My own studies are primarily on the climbing and leaping art, Flockour, Flae-Kwon-Do and Beak-Jutsu, but Flai-Chi is where it all began for me.

     At this point you are probably curious, as humans often are, about other Bird martial arts, and there are many. I will touch upon the ones in common use around my neighborhood, and among my roommates. Together, we cover a large number of branches.

     Cappy, the interloper, He of the greedy clan of Gold-cap, is my rival for Daddy's affections.He favors a close wrestling style known as Wing-Chun, where he immobilizes the opponent with his claw while darting the beak in close for attacks.

     The Magpies, blackbirds and crows in the area all seem conversant with a style known as Krow Makaw which was developed by hooded crows in Israel- it is influenced by and derived from a number of other styles.

     Budgies tend to use Keet June Do, which uses minimal movements with maximum effects and extreme speed.

     Pigeons and Doves in the area have a certain skill in Pigeolism, or Bare-Beaked Boxing, but using Marquis of Darwin rules.

     Sidney, the Cockatoo, likes two forms- Too-Jistu, The art of using your opponents strength to get cuddles and Tooshu or "shredding-beak-art"

     I am only just beginning to learn of the mysterious traditional fighting styles of the lovebirds and the Jardines parrot, but they seem to involve an initial assault with the beak followed by taunting or laughter.

     I hope this brings a little more knowledge to your human brains. I despair of conveying the subtleties in your clumsy and inefficient tongue, but I can only try.


  1. Thank you for the clarification Tango! I was under the impression if birds had feathers, they flocked together.

  2. Interesting look at bird martial arts and the feelings you have on your "neighbors" Tango. Who would have known that your lives are so complicated? Also I never knew that you were doing martial arts but now that I think about it? It makes sense!

  3. Forget martial arts ,YOU CAN TYPE!!!

    1. How is a bird typing odd? Haven't you met Big Bird or Gonzo? ;)

  4. it's not that impressive, Big Tone, he's pretty much hunt and peck